Pilot Needed/Transcript

act 1
(an airport is shown) (zooms in to a departure area) Oreo: So, uh, what are we gonna do? Mauro: I'm... not really sure. Oreo: Will there be snacks onboard? Bog: Hopefully not snakes as well. Mauro: I mean, who would bring a- Announcement: Your plane will depart in sixty minutes. Bog: And that's our cue to go! (Oreo, Mauro, and Bog enter the plane) Oreo: So this is what the inside of the plane looks like. Bog: Okay, who's sitting next to us? Ptotha: Hey guys. Oreo: And you are...? Ptotha: The name's Ptotha. The P is silent. Mauro: I'm Mauro! The one smaller than me is Oreo, and the one larger than me is Bog! Bog: Wait, one, two, three, five... where's four? (meanwhile, in first class) Flight Attendant: Would you like some drinks? Phoenix: Ginger ale. (economy class) Ptotha: Probably in first class. Very few can afford it. Cardiff: Eleven, twelve, skipped thirteen, fourteen, fifteen... there it is! Oh hey, guys! Bog: Hey, who's that? Cardiff: I'm Cardiff! Pixel: Since we're in the topic of introducing ourselves, my name's Pixel. Yelming: And I'm right next to him. Yelming. Oreo: We've met some new friends! Bog: That's pretty good. Mauro: Yup. Eric: Hey, who are these other blocky characters? Ptotha: You're a block too? Eric: That's right! Name's Eric. Cardiff: So far, we have 1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 10... 4 and 9 are missing. (first class) Niam: So Phoenix, how's your day? Phoenix: Good enough, Niam. Niam: Hey, who's that other non-square? Phoenix: I think that's... Queedra. Niam: Oh, okay. (economy class) Gabe: Hi! Rayseek: Hi! Carlos: Hello! Erix: Hi! Exvie: Greetings! Tetris: Hi! Chalk: Hello! Pentangle: Hi? Oreo: Some more block buddies! Cardiff: Yup. You gotta expect more of them. Ptotha: Actually, we're all blocks here. Cardiff: Umm... yeah. Mint: I should've paid more... Mauro: So who are these guys? Bog: Nine more? Pixel: Gabe, Rayseek, Carlos... Yelming: Erix, Exvie, Tetris... Eric: Chalk, Pentangle, and Mint! Ptotha: That's a lotta blocks! Carlos: Only 19 is missing, though... Bog: Probably another first-classer.

act 2
Oreo: Wow, we've met so many new friends today! Mauro: But... where are we going? Ptotha: Apparently, we're going to... Chronia. Cardiff: Oh, I've heard of that place! Bog: Can someone tell us what Chronia is like? Pixel: Apparently, it used to be a place where math was their language. Pixel: Everything could be described using a bunch of numbers and symbols. Pixel: But then... the enemies attacked. Pixel: They called themselves the "Nocals" and almost killed every Chronian they could find. Pixel: However, their true goal of destroying Chronia itself had failed. Pixel: You see, the Nocals despise math and it was known as the spawn of the demons from where they came. Pixel: All of the Chronian structures were built based on mathematical concepts. Pixel: The Nocals gave up after failing to understand even the first piece of Chronian writing they found. Pixel: Ever since then, Chronia was abandoned for thousands of years. Bog: (sobbing) How could they?? Cardiff: Everyone died... Oreo: I thought this was a kids show! Yelming: Yeah, I thought it was weird they we would mention death of all things. Carlos: Shut up! The plane's about to take off! (first class) Queedra: I don't get it. Why are we going to Chronia in the first place? Niam: Isn't it abandoned? Phoenix: Well, it's a bit far-fetched, but... Phoenix: WE'RE GOING TO RESTORE CHRONIA BACK TO ITS FORMER GLORY! Niam: ...what? Phoenix: Haven't you remembered the history of Chronia? Queedra: I remember someone in the economy class talking about it. (economy class) Eric: So... if my memory serves me correctly... Eric: You're Bino, Greeny, Brock, Roctlang, Manganese, Magni, Peppermint, Oisin, Fuchsia, and Boggo? Bino: Yup! Greeny: That's right! Brock: Correct! Roctlang: Absolutely! Manganese: You've got it! Magni: Correctomundo! Peppermint: Mm-hmm! Oisin: Definitely! Fushcia: You've hit it right on the head! Boggo: Exactly! Eric: Phew, that's a lot to remember. And I thought recalling the teens were hard enough. Exvie: Maybe I should write them down! Erix: So... what now? Tetris: We just... wait for the plane to take off! Rayseek: In one minute! Pentangle: This is so exciting! Mint: Yeah... (plane takes off) Oreo: And we're flying! Mauro: I've still got my seat belt on! Bog: Why are these seats so big, anyway? Cardiff: Blocks come in all shapes and sizes! In fact, there are some characters on the plane that are not even blocks! Ptotha: Like what? Cardiff: Vectors, shapes, even... more complex beings.

act 3
Eric: So... how's it like being approximately ten kilometers in the sky? Gabe: Let's hope that nothing horrific happens. (first class) Queedra: (humming) Crazy shapes are what I do... Pilot #1: (comes out of the cockpit) Stand back, I think I'm gonna vomit! Pilot #2: (follows Pilot #1) I kinda feel the same thing too! Phoenix: What!? Queedra: Really? Niam: Why do both pilots want to regurgitate? Phoenix: As I heard, each pilot consumes different meals, so that when one is unable to fly due to sickness or poisoning, the other can continue flying the plane. However... Queedra: Both pilots are unwell. Phoenix: And two minus two is zero, so that means... Phoenix: NO ONE'S PILOTING THE PLANE. (economy class) Exvie: I feel a disturbance in the first class area. Carlos: It's probably nothing bad. (first class) Niam: This is bad... really bad! Queedra: It's not like we have to fly the plane ourselves, right? Phoenix: Guys, stay calm! Niam: But we don't know how to- Phoenix: STAY FRIKKIN' CALM!!! Queedra: ...uh... Phoenix: Look, multiple lives are at stake. We have to fly the plane ourselves or we all die. Niam: ...but blocks can't die. Phoenix: Some characters on this plane aren't blocks! Niam: Okay, I get it! But it's not like we have an instructional manual for... Queedra: I found one! Phoenix: That's great. I'll try to decipher this, and you two will figure out what to do. We'll keep talking and nobody crashes. Niam: Why can't you just fly the plane yourself? Phoenix: That door does not allow any block with a value smaller than 6. (pause) Queedra: Well, that's inconvenient! Phoenix: What are you waiting for? Here are some pilot's keycards! (cockpit) Niam: We're here. Now we just have to- Phoenix: (from outside) Now, whatever you do, don't press the big red button. It's the most ominous button there is. If you ever press that one without my consent, I will never forgive you. Queedra: O...kay... Niam: So we just- Phoenix: (from outside) Never mind, I just realized what that big red button does. Apparently it's the autopilot button? Niam: Why do I have to get interrupted? Phoenix: (from outside) Those other pilots will probably switch it back to manual after they've healed. Queedra: So... that means... Phoenix: (from outside) Press it. (Niam lifts the cover and presses the button) Niam: Well, that was easy! (first class) Niam: (comes back from the cockpit) Why didn't they do that earlier? Queedra: Maybe they forgot to press it during all the stress? Phoenix: Yeah, I think that's it. Queedra: What we do know is that the passengers are safe! (economy class) Oreo: Would you believe if both pilots got sick and someone had to fly the plane themselves? Bog: That'll never happen. Ptotha: And even if it does, it probably won't be an issue anyway.

act 4
(approximately three-quarters of an hour later) Phoenix: The pilots should both be back any second now... (the two pilots enter) Pilot #1: Oh my gosh, that was bad. Pilot #2: What have we eaten? Pilot #1: Hope the plane's okay. Pilot #2: Hey, speaking of the plane, did you press the autopilot button? Pilot #1: I thought you pressed it! Queedra: It's okay, we took care of that! Pilot #1: Oh, thank gosh. Flight Attendant: What happened? Niam: The pilots forgot to turn on autopilot. Flight Attendant: Let me guess, you pressed it for them? Phoenix: Uh... yep. Flight Attendant: In that case, I would like to remind you that we are going to land at Chronia Airport. Phoenix: In how long, exactly? Flight Attendant: Fifteen minutes? Phoenix: Good. Flight Attendant: Anything else? Phoenix: I ran out of ginger ale. (economy class) Oreo: I can't believe we're almost there! Bog: Yeah, it's been, like, four hours. Mauro: That's actually kinda short in terms of a flight. Ptotha: Maybe? Eric: I need more pop. Mint: Me too! Boggo: Me three! Tetris: I expect a "me four" from someone with a value of 40, but I guess they're not here for now. Carlos: Speaking of expectations, what are we going to do once we get to Chronia? Yelming: I'd say- Cardiff: We're going to the Chronian Ruins! Yelming: You interrupted me! Cardiff: Sorry. Pixel: Are we seriously going to the ruins? That's where all the Chronians used to live! Pixel: Y'know, before they were killed by the Nocals? Gabe: I wonder what a Chronian actually looks like. I've never seen one, not even in photos! Oreo: Well, they are extinct, after all. Exvie: But... what if they aren't? Rayseek: There could actually be a Chronian nearby? Erix: I'm not quite sure. Pentangle: But if we do see one, we have to protect it at all costs! Bino: I guess, considering that they're critically endangered.

act 5
(fifteen minutes later) Oreo: We're here! Bog: Yes! Mauro: Finally! Ptotha: I need to pee. Pixel: I don't think blocks can pee. Ptotha: Whatever. Cardiff: Have we arrived at Chronia Airport? Yelming: We have! Eric: I think I'll bring this last can of ginger ale... Gabe: I don't think you can. Eric: Then again, maybe you're right. (downs the entire can) (arrival) Oreo: Are we really going to the Chronian Ruins? Phoenix: Indeed we are! Niam: One, two, three, five, six, seven, eight, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, twenty, I think we're good. Queedra: We're from the first class area! Bog: I don't think we've met. Phoenix: You may call me Phoenix, and these are Niam and Queedra. Ptotha: I was right all along! Rayseek: Can we just hurry up? Carlos: Not until we all introduce ourselves! I'm Carlos. Phoenix: I have a list. Erix: ...that's convenient. Exvie: Well then, Firebird, let's all go on an adventure! Phoenix: Don't call me Firebird. Exvie: Okay, Arizona! Tetris: What's going on inside his head? Chalk: I have no idea. Phoenix: As for the rest of you... Niam: Don't you think we should have a role call? Queedra: Yeah, just in case we have someone missing! Phoenix: (sighs) Fine. Oreo, Mauro, Bog, Ptotha, Cardiff, Pixel, Yelming, Eric, Gabe, Rayseek, Carlos, Erix, Exvie... Niam: Tetris, Chalk, Pentangle, Mint, Bino, Greeny, Brock, Roctlang... Queedra: Manganese, Magni, Peppermint, Oisin, Fuchsia, Boggo! We're all here! Fucshia: So what do we do now? Magni: I assume we're going to the Chronian Ruins? Phoenix: Well, that's exactly why we're here! Come along, we'll take a bus there. Greeny: But what's with the others? Roctlang: There's a city that's quite distant from the ruins. Started by someone named "Tory Strap".

act 6
(on the bus) Eric: Ninety-nine bottles of pop on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of pop... Niam: You take one down, pass it around... Yelming: ...you get ninety-eight bottles of pop on the wall! Eric, Niam, and Yelming: Ninety-eight bottles of pop on the wall! Eric, Niam, Yelming, and Pixel: Ninety-eight bottles of pop! Pixel: You take two down, pass them around... Cardiff: ...you get ninety-six bottles of pop on the wall! Eric, Niam, Yelming, Pixel, and Cardiff: Ninety-six bottles of pop on the wall! Gabe, Eric, Niam, Yelming, Pixel, Cardiff, and Ptotha: Ninety-six bottles of pop! Phoenix: You take four down! Rayseek: Pass them around! Mauro and Bog: Ninety-two bottles of pop on the wall! NCR-2~12: Ninety-two bottles of pop on the wall! NCR-2~13: Ninety-two bottles of pop! Oreo: You take three down! Erix: And pass them around! Exvie: You get eighty-nine... NCR-1~15: ...bottles of pop on the wall! NCR-1~16: Eighty-nine bottles of pop on the wall! NCR-1~17: Eighty-nine bottles of pop! Pentangle and Queedra: You take thirty-seven down... Mint: And pass 'em around! NCR-1~20: Fifty-two bottles of pop on the wall! NCR-1~21: Fifty-two bottles of pop on the wall! NCR-1~22: Fifty-two bottles of pop! Brock, Roctlang, and Manganese: You take twenty-four down, pass them around... NCR-1~25: Twenty-eight bottles of pop on the wall! NCR-1~26: Twenty-eight bottles of pop on the wall! NCR-1~27: Twenty-eight bottles of pop! Oisin: You take twenty-eight down... Fuchsia and Boggo: ...and you pass 'em all down... NCR-1~30: You've got zero bottles of pop on the wall! (all the blocks starts cheering) Bus Driver: QUIET. (the blocks stay silent) Oreo: Well, that's one way to kill the mood... Bus Driver: We'll arrive at the Chronian Ruins in 25 minutes. Manganese: Twenty-five? Ptotha: We should be able to kill some time.

act 7
Carlos: You know, Phoenix? Phoenix: What is it, Carlos? Carlos: By the time we get to the ruins, what are we gonna do? Phoenix: We'll at least try to restore it. Carlos: Huh? Erix: I think that's impossible! Exvie: Hey, don't say that! The impossible is possible! All you gotta do is make it so! Tetris: Isn't that the Chronian ruins? Oreo: Hey, it sure does look like it! Mauro: Does that mean we're almost there? Bog: I'll ask the driver. Bog: Excuse me, are we there yet? Bus Driver: Still askin' that question, eh? Bog: Uknn! Bus Driver: The answer is... (the bus stops) Bus Driver: ...yes. Bog: Yay! Niam: Can't wait to camp at the Chronian ruins! Cardiff: This is gonna be so much fun! Ptotha: I'm looking forward to it! Pixel: Me too! Yelming: Me three! Gabe: Me four! Rayseek: Me five! Carlos: Stop it. (the blocks claim their baggage from the bus's storage) Oreo: Huh. It's a lot closer to the bus stop than I thought. Mint: No crap. It's approximately one metre away. Phoenix: C'mon, guys! It's only a few steps ahead! Two hundred steps on average, actually... Roctlang: Woah, you can be six blocks tall? I can be six blocks tall too! Pentangle: Yeah, and so do Cardiff, Rayseek, and Boggo! Fuchsia: It's a shame I can only make two rectangles, one-by-twenty-nine and twenty-nine-by-one. Oisin: Those are practically the same rectangle. Peppermint: I can be nine-by-three! Magni: My rectangles are either too tall or too wide. Brock: Same thing. Exvie: We made it! Queedra: Now, we shouldn't destroy the delicate structures that remain. We need to be soft and gentle... Oreo: I'm pretty hard. Queedra: Never mind that. It's getting dark, so we still need a place to stay, and it's not like there's a campsite or... Niam: I found an abandoned hotel! Queedra: Okay, that's probably haunted, so nobody check in there. Niam: Really? But I've heard that the intercontinental breakfast has coffee cake! Exvie: Then we must check in at once! Queedra: What- but- (sighs) Phoenix: Just go with it, Queedra. Queedra: Fine.

act 8
Niam: Hellooooooooo! Exvie: No one's here. Except... (Exvie examines a deactivated robotic servant) Exvie: Is this... a robot? Niam: GUYS! THEY HAVE ROBOT SERVANTS! Exvie: This place isn't ruined at all... except the power is out. Oreo: That must explain why the servants aren't activated. Chalk: Okay, if anyone has electrical powers here, raise your hand. (nobody raises their hands) Chalk: Never mind. Exvie: So in order to restore the power... Niam: ...we need to... Carlos: ...find the power source! Pixel: But where is the power source? Bog: Maybe those pamphlets will help! (Bog reads a pamphlet about the Mind Crystal) Bog: "Long ago, when the Chronians still existed, the Mind Crystal was their power source." Bog: "It had the power to convert brain activity to energy." Bog: "The more people think, the more power they produce." Phoenix: So we just need to think any random thoughts? Bog: Not really. Bog: "There is also a possible alternative source in case any blocks started to investigate the Chronian ruins." Bog: "Under the Mind Crystal contain a secret chamber." Bog: ...that's all it says. Ptotha: We just need to find that Mind Crystal! ...wait, where is the Mind Crystal? Cardiff: Umm... Phoenix: Well, there's an old map of Chronia. It's right in the center of these ruins. Oreo: Let's go! Mauro: Woo! (two minutes later) Mauro: So this is the Mind Crystal? Queedra: Hmm... it is indeed. Phoenix: We'll need to go under it, somehow. Niam: But how are we going to lift up something so large? Exvie: Maybe there's an inscription, and that inscription is a riddle. Then we'll have to solve it! Phoenix: Actually, it's less of a riddle and more of a... passcode. Yelming: What is really beyond that door?

act 9
Phoenix: Ah, I see. In order to find the passcode, we need to solve this equation: 8x + 923 = 1259. Pixel: That's... a tough question. Phoenix: It's actually easier than you think. The answer is... (dramatic pause) Phoenix: Forty-two. (all the other blocks groan) Chalk: Are you kidding me? Tetris: How cliche. Exvie: Seriously? Phoenix: No, the answer really is forty-two. Subtract nine hundred and twenty-three from one thous- Chalk: Oh wait, never mind, you're right. Tetris: I see it now. Exvie: It is a solution. Queedra: So... where should we input the number? Eric: There's a keypad over there... Phoenix: So let's put it in. (Phoenix inputs the number into the keypad and a door opens) Phoenix: Hmm. A door. I expected that. Oreo: You expected that? Mauro: I think he's seen too many movies. (Oreo, Mauro, Bog, Phoenix, and Ptotha enter the Mind Crystal Base) (there are many cryogenically frozen humans in the base) Ptotha: These must be... Phoenix: Humans. Complex beings known for their intelligence and knowledge. Bog: How do you know that? Phoenix: My cousin's been studying anthropology and I got interested. (the other blocks came in) Cardiff: So what do we do to free them? Niam: I... don't know. Eric: Hey, what's that? (pointing at a trapdoor) Erix: Maybe a room to a basement or something? Oreo: We should check out what it leads to! Carlos: Oh... okay... (Oreo opens the trapdoor and climbs down a ladder) (there are thirty holes, each of different sizes) (there's also a rectangular tablet on a stand in the middle of the room) Oreo: Holy moly, that's a lot of holes! Mauro: Hmm, this hole looks familiar... Oreo: It's the same size as me! (goes into the hole) (the "1" above the hole glows) Oreo: Huh? Numerical Pad: "1" registered. Oreo: (gets out of the hole) "'1' registered"? What does that mean? Mauro: There's another hole right next to it. (goes into the "2" hole) (the "2" above the hole glows) Numerical Pad: "2" registered. Bog: More holes! (goes into the "3" hole) (the "3" above the hole glows) Numerical Pad: "3" registered. Phoenix: Maybe we should register all the numbers? Ptotha: All the numbers? Phoenix: I mean, there are thirty holes, and there are thirty of us. We can assign each block to each hole. Ptotha: I get it now! Cardiff: Let's do it! Pixel: All right! (the blocks go into their respective holes and the Numerical Pad registers them all) Numerical Pad: "4" registered. Numerical Pad: "5" registered. Numerical Pad: "6" registered. Numerical Pad: "7"... Numerical Pad: "8"... Numerical Pad: "9"... Numerical Pad: "10"... Numerical Pad: "11"... Numerical Pad: "12"... Numerical Pad: "13"... Numerical Pad: "14"... Numerical Pad: "15"... Numerical Pad: "20"... Numerical Pad: "25"... Numerical Pad: "30" registered. Numerical Pad: You have reached the first stage of mathematics: numbers and counting. (the blocks are forced out of the holes) Mauro: Ouch! Bog: That's kinda rude... Phoenix: It's happening... Numerical Pad: Now releasing Christine. Oreo: Huh? Ptotha: Who's Christine? Cardiff: I don't know! Boggo: Me neither! Fuchsia: None of us do! (cut to the MCB) (one of the cryogenic pods opens and the human inside opens her eyes)

act 10
Oisin: Whatever, I'm sure nothing happened! Peppermint: Yeah, it's not like some character named Christine would suddenly jump out of nowhere- Christine: Huh? Peppermint: Agh! Magni: Hold on! Manganese: What!? Christine: I'm Christine... Roctlang: Wait, you're Christine? Christine: That is correct! At least, that's my name... Phoenix: You must be... a human being. Christine: Right as well! Brock: So that is what they meant... Phoenix: Hold on. (creates a fireball on his hand) Christine: Woah. What the heck? Oreo: Huh? Eric: Are you trying to...? Phoenix: You're not hostile, are you? Christine: O-of course not! Phoenix: Hmm... seems legit. (removes the fireball) You're good. Christine: Uh, what was that? Exvie: In case you're actually trying to harm us! Christine: I never meant to harm anyone. Queedra: So... why are you here? Christine: Well... (they leave the Numerical Pad hub and enter the MCB) Christine: See these other humans? Erix: There are a lot. Pixel: Could they be...? Christine: Yes. They are Chronia's last hope. Just before they all died, they kept a few of the children and placed them in these cryogenic pods. Bog: So... how do we get them out? Cardiff: I think we're meant to "make advancements"? Christine: Exactly. By making advancements in mathematics, the rest of them can be freed. Cardiff: Oh. Niam: There are... ten of them? Christine: I think so.

act 11
(Christine and the Chroniablocks leave the MCB) Christine: Fortunately, it seems that the Nocals are all gone. Pixel: That's a relief. Hey, the Mind Crystal! (the Mind Crystal is generating energy) Christine: That's weird. Normally, it takes, like, a thousand Chronians to power this thing, but... it's generating on its own? Oreo: Well, uh... we... Christine: Yes? Oreo: ...we were the ones who set you free. Christine: WHAT!? NCR-1~30: (gasp) Mauro: Why didn't you tell us eariler? Christine: Well, just before the Extinction, my mom told me that when the time is right, some blocky characters will bring Chronia back to its former glory. Phoenix: It was always my intention to restore these ruins. Christine: Wait, really? Phoenix: Yes, why'd you ask? Bog: I guess we can go back to the hotel...